Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
