Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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