There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
