i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
