sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
