Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
