How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
