He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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