Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
