im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
