Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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