I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
