I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
