At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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