I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
