we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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