At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
