Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
