"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
