you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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