I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
