wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
