I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its not stalking. its research.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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