I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
