I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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