I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
