She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
