love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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