Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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