Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
