True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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