how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
