Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
