After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
