did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
