I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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