Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize