im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
