I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
