I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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