he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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