People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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