I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
