Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
