Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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