Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize