She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
