Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
