so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
