cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
