dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's Friday. Sex?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
