Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
