we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
