Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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