She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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