I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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