i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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