Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize