barbara walters just said penis...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
