i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
