Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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